From 3 to 4

In a matter of a few hours, life will change yet again for my family. Miss Maia will be making her grand entrance! Finally! Even though these last 9 months have flown by, it seems like my last trip to Salt Lake was eons ago. Does that make any sense? As I did before the birth of Zayne, I lay here sleepless, even though I'm completely and totally exhausted. So many emotions are running thru my body. I'm SO excited to meet this girl that is my daughter! I cannot wait to hold her and snuggle her! (Especially since Zayne isn't really much of a snuggler anymore.) I'm nervous, because with any surgery, there are risks. And I'm terrified. So terrified that bringing Maia home is going to turn Zayne's world upside down. Don't get me wrong, I know that he will be an awesome big brother. He is just such a mama's boy, and is set in his ways, that I'm worried about the jealousy factor and having to divide my time between my two children. I don't want either to feel neglected. And I'm sure, as I was with Zayne, that I will be an emotional mess. Brian will only be home with me for a week, and I honestly have no idea how I'm going to manage two babies by myself. I gotta admit, that stresses me out just thinking about it. I wish I could say "we'll cross that bridge when we get there," but my OCD self needs a plan, and I have no plan. So many people have told me to get Zayne a baby doll to take care of, and I did. I'm not quite sure when to give it to him, but I have a baby doll ready. It even comes with a bottle, so he can feed his baby when I'm feeding sister. Not sure if it will help, but I guess it's worth a shot. Well, I suppose I had better edit this right quick and get it posted. If I fall asleep now, I can still get 5 hours of sleep. It's much needed since I've been awake for over 20 hours so far. I'm beginning to think that sleep is over rated anyway. ;)