Well, nothing has really changed since my last post. We are still waiting to be matched, and it seems like it's taking forever. FOR-EV-ER!!!! I try my best to not think about it, but it manages to enter my mind at least once every day. And it's taking everything I have to not call and see what's going on. It says in the paperwork that the matching process can take several months, but it feels like years! (I'm totally not complaining, by the way; just venting). I'm very appreciative that we are receiving this scholarship, and if they're gonna help us have a baby, I'm willing to wait. That is, if the waiting doesn't kill me! I'm not the most patient person, especially once you throw my biological clock into the mix. I just worry, because I'm obviously not getting any younger, and I don't wanna be one of those parents who can't go out and play with their kids for fear of breaking a hip. So what have I been doing to occupy my time? Working. (and working, and working, and working...). Scrapbooking. Reading. Sleeping. Nothing too exciting, but things that I won't have much time for when there's a baby to take care of.
One thing I try to avoid is visiting those silly infertility chat rooms. You go in expecting to share your experience and maybe meet a new friend or two, and end up even more depressed than you were to begin with. We are all in the same boat, in that we are reproductively challenged, but everyone deals with it differently. For me, yah it sucks, and it's devistating to know that we may never have children, but other's don't handle it quite as well. These chat rooms are filled with people who are playing the pity game, and crying about how they will never feel fulfilled unless they give birth. Trust me, I understand how much it hurts, but I don't allow myself to get so far down that I can't get out of bed in the morning. Seeing other people being depressed only makes me depressed, and that's not good for the body. Don't we all know that stress is harmful to the body, and more than likely hinders the reproductive process??? So I choose to not think about it. Maybe I'm not dealing with it... I don't know. I just try to put it in God's hands, and let it be. Yah, I will be sad if we can't have a child of our own, but I will be just as happy adopting a child in need. And if that doesn't work, then four-legged kids, it is! Maybe we should just skip all the baby drama and get another dog. At least dogs don't talk back... ;)
