From 3 to 4

In a matter of a few hours, life will change yet again for my family. Miss Maia will be making her grand entrance! Finally! Even though these last 9 months have flown by, it seems like my last trip to Salt Lake was eons ago. Does that make any sense? As I did before the birth of Zayne, I lay here sleepless, even though I'm completely and totally exhausted. So many emotions are running thru my body. I'm SO excited to meet this girl that is my daughter! I cannot wait to hold her and snuggle her! (Especially since Zayne isn't really much of a snuggler anymore.) I'm nervous, because with any surgery, there are risks. And I'm terrified. So terrified that bringing Maia home is going to turn Zayne's world upside down. Don't get me wrong, I know that he will be an awesome big brother. He is just such a mama's boy, and is set in his ways, that I'm worried about the jealousy factor and having to divide my time between my two children. I don't want either to feel neglected. And I'm sure, as I was with Zayne, that I will be an emotional mess. Brian will only be home with me for a week, and I honestly have no idea how I'm going to manage two babies by myself. I gotta admit, that stresses me out just thinking about it. I wish I could say "we'll cross that bridge when we get there," but my OCD self needs a plan, and I have no plan. So many people have told me to get Zayne a baby doll to take care of, and I did. I'm not quite sure when to give it to him, but I have a baby doll ready. It even comes with a bottle, so he can feed his baby when I'm feeding sister. Not sure if it will help, but I guess it's worth a shot. Well, I suppose I had better edit this right quick and get it posted. If I fall asleep now, I can still get 5 hours of sleep. It's much needed since I've been awake for over 20 hours so far. I'm beginning to think that sleep is over rated anyway. ;)

For Maia

Hey there baby girl! The countdown is on! In just over a week, we finally get to meet! I can't begin to tell you how excited I am! Hopefully I've made a good home for you on the inside, and you'll enjoy it just as much on the outside. Daddy and big brother Zayne are excited to meet you too. These past 9 months have flown by. It seems like just yesterday that I was on a plane to Salt Lake City to get you and bring you home. While the first few months of your presence were quite interesting, I wouldn't trade it for the world. You have been a little fireball since day one, and I know that you will continue to keep us on our toes for the rest of your life. The most important thing that I want you to know is just how much you are loved, and that started way before you were even born. If you've read any of my other blog posts or have checked out your scrapbook, you know the details. If not, you will. I have always dreamed of having a little girl, and I was so happy when we found out that we were having you. Daddy and I would have been happy either way, but adding a little girl to our family just seemed fit. Speaking from experience, life as a girl is far from easy. You will be faced with challenges your whole life, and things won't always be easy. You will face all kinds of pressure, and the best advice I can give you is to listen to your heart and always respect yourself. Hopefully I can prepare you for all the craziness that life will throw at you, but I'm sure that you will have to discover a few things on your own. Please know that I will always be here for you. I will always be on your side. Even if I don't agree with the choices you make, you will always have my support. And if things don't go as planned, I will be here to help you pick up the pieces and move on. Anyway, I had better wrap this up for now. I'm getting the feeling that you don't like having a computer on top of you, because you've been kicking and wiggling up a storm since I started writing this. Enjoy your last week in the womb, because you're in for one wild ride! I love you, Mommy