I think I'm finally getting the hang of this "mommy" thing! It's really not a hard job tho. He's such a good baby! I'm guessing that because he's such a happy baby, our next kid will probably be a terror! ;)
So much has happened since my last post. I went back to work just before Christmas, and I really thought I was dying when I left Zayne at home. I'm glad I had a commute, because it took a bit to stop the tears once I walked out the door. Brian was home with him most days, but we had a couple girls come babysit when B was at work. They even said that Zayne was the best baby they've ever watched! That made me feel awesome, but of course, I already knew that he was the best! ;) As hard as it is to leave him every morning, his big smile when I get home is the best part of my day.
Zayne's first Christmas was an awesome day. He is definitely spoiled! He had so many presents to open that he had to stop and eat and have a nap midway through opening them all. He got a lot of books, and he loves to have stories read to him. I try to read to him at bedtime, but anytime he's eating is a good time to read. (He gets kind of spazzy sometimes when he's eating, but reading seems to calm him a bit.) He also loves toys that light up and make noise. He got one toy that has a little piano keyboard on it, and he absolutely loves it. He will sit against one of us and kick at the keyboard to make it play, and he just laughs and smiles like it's the best thing in the world. He's just starting to reach for it with his hands. Maybe he'll be a musician like his momma some day!
We had an appointment with Dr. Yap for Zayne's next round of shots. I think he got 5 vaccines over the course of 3 shots. It was probably harder on me than it was on him. I can't handle hearing him cry. It breaks my heart! Thankfully, he didn't cry for long, but he did need a little Tylenol that evening. My little tough guy!
We made a trip to Nebraska after the first of the year, for Zayne's baptism. I was nervous about taking him on such a long trip, but he did really well. He slept the entire time, and then surprisingly, slept all night too! It's exhausting to be a little man! He did so good at church too, and it didn't seem to phase him when Pastor put the water on his head. After the ceremony, Pastor carried him through the congregation and gave him to a lady (the one person at church that day that I didn't know), symbolizing how church is his family. He seemed content, but he must have started getting fussy, because she gave him back to us pretty quickly. It was nice to have our friends and family present, and Zayne is blessed to have some awesome Godparents.
For the last few weeks, Brian has been at home with Zayne while I went to work, and we recently interviewed a babysitter who will watch him once Brian goes back to work. I had hoped that I could find someone to watch him at our house, so his routine wouldn't be completely displaced, but because my list to choose from was pretty narrow, I think he's going to end up with a nice lady who runs an in-home daycare. I was dead set against having him in daycare, but this lady watches just a couple children, and they come at various times of the day, so I guess it won't be that bad. I just really struggle with leaving him with someone I don't know. Care.com was my source for finding a sitter, which is nice because you can do background and reference checks on anyone you choose. Of course, the comprehensive checks cost money, but the basic checks are free. (And believe me, if I could afford the $300 premier background check, I would do it!) Most of the caregivers on that site are younger, and I couldn't bring myself to hire a young person to watch my baby. I narrowed my search down to three women, but one was in the military and had moved and forgot to update her profile, and one was allergic to animals, so that left us with Granny B. I haven't made her a formal offer yet. Still struggling with that part. (And yes, I ran a background check on Granny!) Unless we win the lottery in the next few days, she will probably be the one we choose. And I'm sure it will kill me to leave him. Thankfully, my job is flexible, so I hope to make my workday short when he's at daycare.
Brian and I have started discussing our next trip out to Utah. I had never planned on having children so close together, but because frozen embryos lose their quality with time, we have to use them relatively soon. We have 4 embryos left, so hopefully we will get at least one more baby. When we began the whole IVF process, we had to choose what to do if we have any unused embryos. Originally, the plan was to donate them to research, but now that I've seen Zayne, I can't bring myself to get rid of them. I have always been pro-life, but it just didn't click in my mind when I was filling out that form. I guess I was overwhelmed with the whole process. Seeing Zayne made it so real. To me, getting rid of those leftover embryos would be abortion (I know I'm opening up a can of worms here. Please remember that this is MY opinion.). We briefly considered donating them to a couple who can't conceive on their own, but I can't bring myself to do that either. I know that's selfish, but it's something I'm struggling with. Zayne deserves to know his brothers and sisters. There's no guarantee that we will even have to make this decision, because this next round using the frozen embryos may not work on the first try, so I may be stressing over nothing. But if it does work right away, our family could end up being larger than we originally planned. I guess we will cross that bridge when we get there.
Well, mommy duty calls! Til my next post... ;)
