The chaos called mommyhood

What a transition it is from one child to two! Holy moly! Maia is nearly 3 months old now, and I have mentally blogged about a hundred times since her arrival, but finding time to put the words into print is another story. We have been fighting acid reflux as we did with Zayne, but this time around, it seems more intense. Medicine isn't helping, and she seems very uncomfortable. I have had lots of advice on home remedies, and am working my way thru them. Something has to help! Besides being a spitty baby, Maia is wonderful! She's happy, with lots of smiles. She loves her big brother and staring at the ceiling fan and pictures on the wall. Zayne has taken to her as well. He's always in her personal space! He's full of loves for her, and he's very attentive to her needs (or what he thinks she needs!). He's quick with the bottle or pacifier, and is ready with a rattle or stuffed toy for her when she starts to cry. I don't know how many times I've heard him tell her that she's pretty. I'm so proud of him! I'm struggling with dividing my time between the two kids tho. I know I'm being too hard on myself, but I feel like I'm neglecting Zayne since Maia has arrived. We play as much as we can, and he doesn't seem to mind sharing me with sister, but I miss our all day long play sessions. I feel like I'm rushing everything with him, because it seems like every time he and I are doing something, then sister needs me and he gets put on the back burner. Like I said, I know I'm being hard on myself, but the struggle is real. I do have to brag on my boy, tho. We have been potty training for a few months now, and I finally think we're getting it! He's now in big boy unders except at night, and is rocking it! He still has a few accidents now and again, but my baby boy is growing up! *Happy and sad tears!* Life is wonderful, and I wouldn't trade the chaos for anything!

From 3 to 4

In a matter of a few hours, life will change yet again for my family. Miss Maia will be making her grand entrance! Finally! Even though these last 9 months have flown by, it seems like my last trip to Salt Lake was eons ago. Does that make any sense? As I did before the birth of Zayne, I lay here sleepless, even though I'm completely and totally exhausted. So many emotions are running thru my body. I'm SO excited to meet this girl that is my daughter! I cannot wait to hold her and snuggle her! (Especially since Zayne isn't really much of a snuggler anymore.) I'm nervous, because with any surgery, there are risks. And I'm terrified. So terrified that bringing Maia home is going to turn Zayne's world upside down. Don't get me wrong, I know that he will be an awesome big brother. He is just such a mama's boy, and is set in his ways, that I'm worried about the jealousy factor and having to divide my time between my two children. I don't want either to feel neglected. And I'm sure, as I was with Zayne, that I will be an emotional mess. Brian will only be home with me for a week, and I honestly have no idea how I'm going to manage two babies by myself. I gotta admit, that stresses me out just thinking about it. I wish I could say "we'll cross that bridge when we get there," but my OCD self needs a plan, and I have no plan. So many people have told me to get Zayne a baby doll to take care of, and I did. I'm not quite sure when to give it to him, but I have a baby doll ready. It even comes with a bottle, so he can feed his baby when I'm feeding sister. Not sure if it will help, but I guess it's worth a shot. Well, I suppose I had better edit this right quick and get it posted. If I fall asleep now, I can still get 5 hours of sleep. It's much needed since I've been awake for over 20 hours so far. I'm beginning to think that sleep is over rated anyway. ;)

For Maia

Hey there baby girl! The countdown is on! In just over a week, we finally get to meet! I can't begin to tell you how excited I am! Hopefully I've made a good home for you on the inside, and you'll enjoy it just as much on the outside. Daddy and big brother Zayne are excited to meet you too. These past 9 months have flown by. It seems like just yesterday that I was on a plane to Salt Lake City to get you and bring you home. While the first few months of your presence were quite interesting, I wouldn't trade it for the world. You have been a little fireball since day one, and I know that you will continue to keep us on our toes for the rest of your life. The most important thing that I want you to know is just how much you are loved, and that started way before you were even born. If you've read any of my other blog posts or have checked out your scrapbook, you know the details. If not, you will. I have always dreamed of having a little girl, and I was so happy when we found out that we were having you. Daddy and I would have been happy either way, but adding a little girl to our family just seemed fit. Speaking from experience, life as a girl is far from easy. You will be faced with challenges your whole life, and things won't always be easy. You will face all kinds of pressure, and the best advice I can give you is to listen to your heart and always respect yourself. Hopefully I can prepare you for all the craziness that life will throw at you, but I'm sure that you will have to discover a few things on your own. Please know that I will always be here for you. I will always be on your side. Even if I don't agree with the choices you make, you will always have my support. And if things don't go as planned, I will be here to help you pick up the pieces and move on. Anyway, I had better wrap this up for now. I'm getting the feeling that you don't like having a computer on top of you, because you've been kicking and wiggling up a storm since I started writing this. Enjoy your last week in the womb, because you're in for one wild ride! I love you, Mommy

For Zayne

To My Sweet Boy: I cannot begin to tell you how much I love you! You are the sweetest kid, and I’m so proud of the little man you’re becoming. You are so independent and curious, and you make me laugh a thousand times a day. I love that you’re excited for your little sister to be in mom’s tummy, but I’m not totally sure that you understand the reality of what’s about to happen. Right now, you love your little sister, and are always kissing and hugging my tummy. You know that your sister is in there. I don't think you understand yet that having a new baby means that mom and dad will have to divide their time and attention between you and Maia. She won't be able to take care of herself for a while, and she will need a lot of care. It will take some getting used to for everyone, but I think we will all adjust in time. You are so good with other babies, so I know you will take good care of Baby Maia. I want you to know, though, that just because there will be another baby in the house, that does not mean that I love you any less. It was important to mom and dad that you grow up with a sibling, not only to have as a buddy, but to teach you about life. About fighting, and loving, and standing up for others, and respecting others, and sharing, and patience. You probably won't care about any of this until you're older, but I hope that you'll appreciate the life lessons when you're an adult. I know that you probably won’t understand why sister will take up so much of my time, and why I won’t always be at your beck and call, but I hope and pray that as you get older, you will understand and know that you and your sister are the most important little people in my world. I know you will enjoy helping me to take care of Maia, and she will look up to you for the rest of your lives. I’m counting on you to be the best role model possible, and set a good example for her. She will follow in your footsteps, and it will probably annoy you early on, but as you both grow, I hope you continue to be best of friends who look out for each other and have each other's back, no matter what the situation. I love you to the moon and beyond! Mommy

The countdown is on!

I feel like Maia is getting gipped out of blog entries. I was so good about documenting everything with Zayne, but this time around, I'm just not as consistent. Nearly every day, I feel like I should write, but then when it comes down to it, it just never gets done. Most days, I feel like I have a good outline in my head of everything I want to say, but then when I actually sit down at the computer, it's all left me. Mommy brain? Pregnancy brain? Laziness? Who knows. Probably all of the above. So Maia, when you're old enough to read this, know that I had the best intentions, but poor follow thru. Bad mommy. First off, I have been getting a lot of questions about where baby girl's name came from. I fell in love with the name Maia after the lead actress in one of my favorite tv shows, The Fosters. Maia Mitchell plays the lead character, and she's just gorgeous! She's from Australia, so she has a cool accent too. The middle name that we chose is Ann, which was the same as Brian's mom. We had decided long ago that if we ever had a girl, her middle name would be Ann. Thankfully, I think that Maia and Ann go well together. Health wise, things are going well with me. I'm still very thankful that my morning sickness (aka all day sickness) has finally gone away completely. Man, that was rough. I'm not a person that ever gets sick, so to feel that way for nearly 5 months was really hard for me. I did have a touch of the stomach flu for about a week, which brought back some bad memories, but my symptoms weren't near as bad as what I had experienced early on with my sickness. Like with Zayne, heartburn has become a constant presence in my life. I can't hardly eat or drink anything without my throat feeling like it's on fire. Brian insisted that I start taking some of his prilosec, and thankfully, it helps! I'm not a very good pill-taker, especially when I'm pregnant, but I take the prilosec regularly and willingly! I have also started to notice clusters of tiny veins emerging from my legs. Particularly my left knee and ankle. So gross! I sure hope that they go away after Maia is born. I'd hate to have to wear jeans for the rest of my life. It's too hot here for that! The only other thing going on with me is exhaustion. I've had to slow down a little bit, because at the end of my workday, I start job number 2... mommy. I crash after Zayne falls asleep. We play so hard in the evenings, that we wear each other out! But I wouldn't trade it for the world! Speaking of Zayne, Mr. Independent is growing up way too fast. He is 19 months old now, and hit his terrible twos about 3 months ago. I'm telling you, the kid is a mess! If you tell him no, the world is coming to an end! He will throw himself to the floor and kick and scream like a crazy person! Most of the time, it's a little hard not to laugh, but he's slowly starting to figure out that tantrums don't help him get his way. His current obsessions are climbing on the couch (which he is not allowed to do), and reading "booky's." Brian and I read book after book to him, and he loves it. I think we all have every booky memorized! Hopefully he will continue being interested in books and learning. We just recently got a small pool for Zayne, and holy moly does he love it. One of us (always me) has to get in with him because the pool floor is too slick for him, but he gets a kick out of splashing and playing in the water. He really is a riot. There's never a dull moment in our house! I can only imagine what life will be like with two babies! Lord help me! ;)

Snowflake update

Tomorrow marks the halfway point with this pregnancy! Yay! I'm proud of myself for making it this far lol! Thankfully, most of my negative symptoms have dissipated, and I'm feeling like myself again. I still get occasional waves of nausea, but nothing bad enough that I have to take any medicine. I still get sick about once every two weeks, but that only happens when I brush my teeth. My gag reflex has definitely worsened with pregnancy. It's always been bad, but now it's really bad. TMI, I know. I temporarily gained back about 4 of the pounds that I had lost, but have since lost that, plus one. Doctor isn't concerned, as long as I continue to eat. Apparently baby is stealing from me again! Maybe I'll be one of those lucky ones that can leave the hospital wearing her pre-pregnancy clothes! :) Last month we found out the sex of our little snowflake, and it was confirmed this week at our 20 week checkup and anatomy scan. IT'S A GIRL!!!!! Maia Ann Lambert is her name, and we can't wait to meet her. We were lucky to find out her gender last month, as she was such a squirmy little thing! I swear that she was break dancing in there! She was more calm at this week's appointment, and doc was able to get several good pictures of her. Anatomically, everything is growing as it should be. Her heartbeat is strong and steady at 150 bpm, and she weighs 12 ounces so far. She will be delivered via c-section, with the date to be determined later. She is right on target for a delivery around the end of August.

Total Opposites

I've never had trouble writing. The words always just seem to come to me. Yet I sit staring that the computer screen with this post that I started writing nearly 2 months ago. I keep rewriting and revising, but it just never seems to convey what I'm trying to express. This is a completely new issue for me! At last post, I was just in the process of completing our embryo transfer, and was starting the dreaded two week wait. At this point in time, I'm nearing completion of my first trimester, and boy is this pregnancy different from my pregnancy with Zayne. I knew that this transfer would be successful, as I was sick since day 1. Whoever coined the term "morning sickness" must have been out of their mind. In my world, morning sickness means "from one morning to the next." Just this week, doc has finally found the right combination of meds to make my days more bearable. I'm still not 100%, but at least I feel human again! I had lost a total of 13 pounds since getting pregnant. Between being sick and not being able to eat, the weight just fell off. This is the time when I'm thankful that I'm a bigger girl and have all those extra pounds stored away, so I can afford to lose a couple here and there. This pregnancy has definitely been filled with drama, leading me to believe that this baby is a girl. Aside from the sickness, I have also been put on bed rest already. At about 6 weeks in, I started bleeding heavily. Thankfully, it was just a small hemorrhage, and baby wasn't affected, but it was sure scary. I don't think I've ever been so terrified in my life. Everything is fine now, but I'm still on edge. Every cramp, every spot of blood, anything out of the norm nearly sends me into a panic. I'm praying that things calm down once I hit my second trimester. When I was pregnant with Zayne, I enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy. No drama, no stress. This pregnancy is completely opposite. I try to take all the stressful moments as indicators that baby is still there, instead of dwelling on how awful I feel. It's hard tho, because it's such an overwhelming feeling. I have found myself surfing Pinterest, trying to find ideas for the nursery. With Zayne, I knew immediately what I wanted to do with his room. I have found quite a few ideas that I like, but nothing that jumps out and says, "This is the one." It seems like most of the things I find are either jungle themed or nautical themed. I don't want either of those. I don't want it to be too girly (still assuming that baby is a girl), but yet I want to find something cutesy. Maybe once we go look at furniture, I will be inspired. Here's hoping. We also have started making some of the bigger purchases that need to be completed pre-baby. First up was a new HVAC system for the house. The babies rooms were the coldest rooms in the house, so there was no question that something had to be done. Our next big project is a different vehicle. My car works well for one child, but the back seat won't fit two rear-facing carseats. I'm hoping for an SUV with a foldable third row seat, so it will accomodate the entire family. We want to be able to take the dogs on road trips, pick up friends and family from the airport when they come to visit, and have plenty of room for carting around all my work equipment. Hopefully if we start the search now, we might actually find something before little Snowflake arrives. Ahh, adulthood! :/ 3 months down, only 6 to go!